


Continuum

by argethara



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A little levihan project, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Female Hange Zoë, Levi Ackerman - Freeform, Modern Era, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Reincarnation, Romantic Comedy, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, Ssshhhhh It's comedy just bear with the pain first, Until Chapter 136, wherein everyone's alive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29979672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argethara/pseuds/argethara
Summary: Ymir's tale was finally close to curtain call but Hange Zoe's was only beginning when she made a pact with the same devil that created Ymir's curse.That man you were talking about most of your stay here. You want to save him, do you?“I’ll save them all if I can.”Ha! Look who’s talking. Didn’t you escape death with that dying man?“He was still breathing so I saved him.”You killed your men for him.The voice suddenly guffawed, finding humor in it. That’s it, that’s your selfish desire, wasn’t it? Child, you almost gave up your so-called duty to run with that man. You want to be with him… in that forest?“I’m guilty of killing my comrades but the thought of running away was a mistake I corrected already. I’m here, right?”Yet your thoughts are with them, the voice pointed out.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Hange Zoë
Comments: 16
Kudos: 28





	Continuum

**Author's Note:**

> *CPR- Cardiopulmonary resuscitation  
> *ICU- Intensive Care Unit  
> *DNR- Do-not-resuscitate order (an order to health professionals to not give CPR)  
> *A lot of cursing ahead

“More than 2000 years ago, the human race was believed to co-exist with a group of living beings that are giant human-looking, man-eating beasts like… bipedal dinosaurs of some sort. However, dinosaurs were already extinct for so many years before the era we now call the “Titans Era” happened, so no, they weren’t dinosaurs with human features. Also, there were too many artifacts insisting that these beings were seen roaming around with humans so it means that civilization was present when they existed.

Transcribed ancient documents would describe or illustrate them as very, very tall creatures that have human features, heartless, mindless, and have a sole purpose of living and surviving to kill and eat humans. You may think that I’m just describing another mythological monster made by early civilizations to visualize catastrophic events. It was initially believed so, and _that_ made the scientific community ignore the following unearthed scrolls and documents about the said matter for a long time. 

Recent findings told us something else, though. In one document we found, it was written that these “monsters” were said to be humans “cursed” by the blood of a young lady named Ymir who bore children and passed down her bizarre trait to the following generations after her. It still sounds like a fairytale story at this point, _but_ it is now more plausible than the descriptions I said earlier. 

This time, a probable cause of the event has been opened; a notion that a titan’s anatomy, physiology, and mentality might be an effect of an ancient disease they called a “curse” in the past. The hypothesis that there were other beings aside from humans in ancient times has now been officially debunked.

Unlike unicorns and dragons, these giant man-eating monsters called titans weren’t magical beasts but were actual humans with disabilities caused _not by a curse_ , but an inherited disease. Gigantism is out of the question too, because aside from their enormous height, they possess a certain mental disability that urges them to kill humans _only_. Archaeologists, scientists, and researchers are now forming new hypotheses regarding this information. 

The one being studied by my team is that this phenomenon might have been caused by an ancient parasite. This parasite might have messed up Ymir's genetic code, making her have an inheritable disease, like cancer, and this abnormality was then transferred to her offspring. Currently, we are looking into ancient parasites known in the islands around middle-east Asia and Africa as most documents were found in those countries.

If you’ll ask me about the relevance of the study we’re doing. I cannot tell for sure. But I think that’s the charm of research. In the end, we all learn something from them. We just hope that whatever caused that phenomenon in the past won’t be repeated in the future; despite the advancements in research and technology, it would be such a pain to handle that kind of pandemic, right? Importance aside, we do have a goal, and that is to discover if it could happen again and do our best to learn how we could prevent it if the possibility is high.”

Hange flashed a small smile after her rough explanation of a much complex body of knowledge they are trying to learn. She looked at her small audience of four magazine writers, two couples, and a class of 11th graders with their adviser. Behind her were the display of the mentioned illustrations of fighting men and titans, some notes about titans, and some journal entries explaining the story about Ymir. All were excavated and brought to their laboratory, then to the only museum of history and archaeology in their city. 

She was not supposed to do the explaining, her life was dedicated to laboratory work and not as a museum docent. Still, the gallery was short-staffed after opening its doors to the masses three days ago. No one in their organization expected this kind of response which made their president miscalculate the number of staff needed for the museum itself. So their _good_ boss asked a few members from the laboratory unit, _which is very much short on staff too_ , to volunteer as guides to visitors for at least a week until he fixed his damn mess of understaffing the prized possession of their institution. 

Hange volunteered knowing how busy her department was, her laboratory managerial work left for her secretary to do; piles of notes and reports would be then sent to her email waiting for her attention at the end of every fucking day for a whole week. And that’s the reason why she’s acting as a guide, sporting a light yellow button-up short-sleeve shirt, white jeans, and sneakers, instead of her usual lab gown and gloves. 

_Think of this as a break. A walk in the park with actual people interested in your experiments. This is a rest compared to the activities in the lab._

Yet this just might be her first-day luck having groups coming in one after another that it became overwhelming for her socially deprived self. And since she was the only scientist around, they were interested to join her tour and ask her about _a lot_ of things regarding the artifacts present around them. _I’m loving this but I hope I’m still speaking human ‘cause I’m drained as fuck._

After gulping her saliva to provide moisture for her already dry throat, she smiled widely, shrugging the exhaustion from her system. “Do you have more questions about these displays?”

They all awkwardly stared at each other. “Ma’am, do your students have any questions? How about the good sirs in the back? Uh, how about you, Miss?” She asked everyone, nobody in particular. She glanced at her wristwatch. _Few more minutes, this is my last batch today._

The students were already on their cellphones while their adviser tried to urge them to ask questions. The couples already left, while the writers were waiting for the tour to end. Noticing that none has questions, she clapped her hands together as her enthusiastic voice rang in the area. “Okay! Are you sure that you don’t want to ask more questions? Then _,_ as much as I want to prolong our bonding time, I must end the tour. If you are interested to know more about our studies or you may have formed questions on your way home, you can always email our laboratory,  [ sawneybeanlab@wof.org. ](mailto:sawneybeanlab@gmail.com) pa. Once again, I am Hans, hoping that you enjoyed your time here and that I’d see you around again in the future. Thank you very much!”

Hange kinda rapped the last part hoping she wouldn't be cut off. The group said their thank you’s and goodbyes and she watched with a relieved grin as they walked towards the exit of the museum. Seeing that the writers were the only people left, she decided to walk near them to give her final, formal thanks as the representative of their organization.

Three men dressed in long-sleeved button-up shirts, varying in neutral colors, tucked in black slacks, and formal black shoes. The redhead young lady among them was clad in a deep red blouse, cream-colored blazer, pencil skirt, and beige block heels. The writers were from two different known printing companies, featuring hot spots in and out of the country; that’s what she was briefed by the museum’s manager earlier. One pair consisted of two tall, old, graying men, and the latter two were a young man and a much younger lady, both of whom looked like her age and are shorter than she was.

They shared a polite smile except for the man who was glaring at her, making her flinch which roused her curiosity. Avoiding his gaze to fo, one of the seniors spoke first. “I’d say that was such an amazing tour, Dr. Zoe, and very educational too! May we call back again to interview you and your staff? We’re interested to know more about your work.”

“The pleasure is ours, Sir. So please don’t hesitate to contact or visit us again.” Hange gave him a genuine smile this time, thinking that _they need them to attract sponsors for additional funding._

After a few more pleasantries, Hange was about to reach for one of the old man’s hands for a handshake when the man, who didn’t bother to join their conversation earlier, suddenly spoke. “Dr. Hange Zoe,” he called her fully, “ I have a question,” he added. 

Jumping a little from surprise, she turned to him faster than she would like to admit, leaving the senior’s stretched hand hanging. “Yes?”

The writers perked their ears up to their conversation, and Hange tensed at that, suddenly praying that whatever his question was is easy enough for her to answer. Judging from his snob aura, he seems not easily convinced even after listening to her talk about the same subject matter for almost two hours.

He looked up at her straight to the eyes the moment he got in front of her, cold gunmetal eyes meeting her hazel ones. The man crossed his arms on his chest. “You said titans aren’t cursed beings nor monsters and have the same body type as humans. Say, _Doctor_ , do titans defecate?”

Pressured from the eyes of writers or maybe it was really from the intense stare of the man in front of her, Hanges’s nerves tingle, blood rushing up to her face. She was quiet for a few seconds, her mind repeating his question, thinking if he was serious about it or not. Until her remaining functioning brain cells did the most rational response- she laughed. A loud one that made other visitors notice them, and for no reason made the rest of their little group laugh along with her. 

“That, that was a good one, Sir,” she replied, gaining back her composure.

The man did not even smirk, not finding humor or anything amusing from his question. In contrast, his scowl deepened while watching her stupidly laugh at his inquiry. _Shit, so he was serious_ . She straightened her back and tried to look professional again. “Well, since I told you that we have the same body type, there _is_ a possibility that titans defecate,” she answered confidently.

To her surprise, he chuckled humorlessly as he stared at her more dangerous than he was as he diminished their meter distance into almost a hair’s breadth; well, not really, but Hange felt that her personal space was being invaded without permission when the man kept on staring at her his sharp eyes. “Titans don’t defecate. They have neither digestive system nor genitalia,” he said under his breath. She knew then that he only wants her to hear whatever he’s about to say next. “I believe you should know that, _Four Eyes_?”

Hange felt her knees grow weak from their closeness, from his unblinking and intimidating steel-blue eyes, from his minty breath, and possibly the tone he used to call her, a nickname she had only heard _years_ ago when she was still too young to know better. 

_What the actual fuck is going on?_ She thought, stepping back to return the distance as her heart got wild beyond its cage. Their stares lingered, her brown orbs wide from mixed emotions she was feeling yet she managed a smirk, not letting him take the stage in her turf. 

As calm as she could, she explained, “I guess you’re a _really_ wide reader, Sir. That was written in older fictional books. But we’re scientists and researchers here, so we need solid proof to claim that the information is indeed a fact. If ever what you said were true, only then I will stand corrected. That’s what science is about, after all.”

His eyes traveled on her face like checking every corner for answers she couldn’t give verbally. And it could be caused by the accumulated exhaustion or the frustrating attitude of the raven-haired man, but Hange couldn’t keep appearances anymore as she glared back. Both of their gazes reflected annoyance. His frown only disappeared, giving her a calmer, longing look after watching her lips quiver.

They continued communicating using their eyes for a while, getting drunk at the moment until Hange broke their staring contest first. Afraid that she might drown in his attention, she cut the comfort by giving the older men an apologetic smile. She glanced and saw the man unceremoniously walking to the museum’s exit in heavy strides. His company followed after saying a quick thank you. It happened so fast yet felt so slow, her eyes could only follow him till he was out of sight.

She didn’t realize how dumbfounded she was about their encounter until one of the seniors asked if she was alright. Only then, she woke up from her trance. The writers and Hange finally shook hands and parted after that, leaving Hange alone with the framed old parchment papers. 

Hange, forgetting that she needed to go home straight away after guiding her last batch of visitors, scanned the papers one by one, pretending it was the first time she saw the torn pages while feeling her still pounding heart in her ribcage.

She read some phrases on the pages, marveled at the detailed drawings of people that seemed like they were fighting a titan while flying with equipment worn on their waists. On one page, she read the line, “Normal soldiers could kill at least two to three titans per expedition outside the walls. Only Lance Corporal Levi had a record of finishing 15 to 20 titans in a single day.” 

_Levi_ , her mind repeated and tears followed. Her heartbeat faster until it became too much, too hard to keep her breathing at a normal pace. She’s not sure what’s happening to her, why she’s getting emotional over long-forgotten documents, but she knows that she was normal before _that man_ spoke to her. _Was I jinxed by that short grump?_ She laughed at her thought.

Even though she wants to walk to the museum’s office where her belongings are kept, her hands began to shake, beads of sweat forming on her temples. She walked to the nearest bench to sit on. _Is this a panic attack, no, a heart attack?_ She placed both fisted hands on her chest while forcing herself to cough in an attempt to do *CPR on her own, fresh tears flowing down her face. _I want to go home._

She grew numb while bearing the pain, her vision getting blurrier from tears and nausea _Don’t panic_. Hange felt hands on her shoulders, shaking her. The person talked, probably asking her, but even her hearing was impaired by the excruciating pain in her chest. She tried to look up at the person but a stronger wave of pain came. 

Hange felt her consciousness was already wearing out. 

_I’m not ready to go yet._

“He...art,” she absentmindedly whispered as she tried to fight for her life until her body gave up on her breathless self. 

* * *

_Year 854._

_You were my serenity in this cruel and beautiful world._

_The only discovery I celebrated in silence._

_I was happy. It was enough. You were enough._

Her pulse was louder than the clock prompting the time left before her emergency plan will commence. Commander Hange Zoe of the Survey Corps decided to open her last cool act, making sure that all the soldiers are stationed near the airship, ready to escape as soon as its repair is done. 

Her nerves started to shake when she turned her back, walking away from the newly formed Alliance, reality sinking in every heavy step she took towards the rumbling. Hange has never been afraid of death after the countless times she has faced and witnessed it since she joined the Survey Corps. She has forgotten how to fear death, until the thought of the people she will leave behind ( _I want to protect them more_ ), her comrades whose death she might put in vain ( _I wish I lived up to their expectations_ ), and the things she could have explored ( _Mountains made of snow seems nice to climb on_ ), crossed her mind. However, ends are inevitable and it's already too late to further analyze the goodness of her life; at that moment, her goal is to survive and fight bravely until the airship could fly away from the island. 

_Levi and the kids would do their best to try and try again. I’m sure of that. Right, Armin? If you’re all successful in ending this stupid war, you can bring them on an expedition around the world, you can even drag Levi with you_.

The sight of the rumbling is nearing their location. Hange eyed her destination when she found Levi blocking her path. Her mind stopped for a second when she saw his visible steel-blue eye was looking everywhere but her. _I need to go, Levi._ Yet he was delaying her by slowly calling. "Ah...Four Eyes."

She trembled harder. Hiding her fear as she tightened her grip on the blades. She tried to lighten up the mood, using humor to remind him about her duty as a commander. But Hange knew Levi _knows and understands_ , and there was no point in hiding it- her dread, determination, and dedication to her duty; all her hurt, disappointments, and love. It was all reflected in his eye that couldn’t even spare her a glance.

_Levi, it’s time for me to go now._ She repeated in her mind, having no strength to say it out loud. She was rushing herself to end their conversation yet both of them are having a hard time walking away from each other, afraid of the following events that will occur, both wishing that they could rewind time, much better if stopped. Levi was thinking and even though she has an idea, she has no choice but not to be swayed by whatever it would be. _I gotta go, it’s getting near._

Silently, she laid down all her promises until the time was no longer by their side.

"...so please let me go," she pleaded nervously, wishing he won’t argue further. 

But Levi surprised her by placing his left fist on her chest and said the words she had never expected from him at the last minute. 

“Devote… your heart,” he weakly replied.

Such few words compared to his usual nagging. Still, it ignited her heart to beat in its most youthful beat again as random memories flashed in her head, reminding her of their first meeting, how she admired his skills and thought that this man could be humanity’s last hope; she remembered when Levi had to save her countless of times, reprimanding her out of her carelessness, only to find him helping with capturing titans for their experiments; she thought of the times she was still getting the hang of being a commander, and he was always there to guide her decisions and actions; funny enough, she also thought of that night in the forest, the most vivid one from her memory _. Every moment was like a dream._

And she found herself almost, _almost_ hesitating about her decision. What-ifs crawled in her mind with its nonexistent options until her heart was calmed down by a surge of courage and pride from realizing that despite the fear and loneliness of facing and fighting the rumbling on her own, she’s not alone and never was.

_Erwin believed in me, my comrades fought with me, we shared the same goal… Levi’s with me. We’re all carrying the same burden._

Hange felt a pang of guilt when she realized that Levi would have to start carrying it on his own if he survives this war. _Forgive me for leaving you too._

There were many things she could have replied but no words were left to be said as Hange struggled not to break in front of humanity’s strongest soldier, her comrade, friend, her partner, and another half. _We have to this. Stay strong and save humanity, Clean Freak._

Trying to stay true to her character, Hange smiled, the last smile she could share with him, and hoped her image will be etched in his memory. For the last time, she allowed herself to glance briefly at his bandaged head and injured body, slightly checking if the bandages were snug enough for the battlefield. 

_Let’s devote our hearts then._

She quickly activated her ODM gear after Levi went back to Armin and the squad. She reached the rumbling in less than a minute and was fascinated by the hundreds of colossal titans on sight. Hange never felt freer in her life more than at that moment. It felt like years before she got her wings again. Flying and playing around with the gear while strategically slicing off titans’ nape. She consecutively did this enduring the steam brushing on her skin, and when she felt like she had already bought enough time for the airship to work, Hange welcomed her fate.

It was more peaceful than she expected.

* * *

  
  


_Is she conscious?_

_No, but her breathing’s stable._

_You did well with the CPR._

_Sir, we need to run some tests to know why it happened._

_Doc! Ms. Zoe is…_

_Why are you stopping?! Don’t fucking stop or I’ll do it myself!_

_Sir, she’s stable again, for now. I already contacted her doctor. Can you tell your relation with…_

Between life and death is a land of memories and illusions. Maybe that is why Hange is lucid dreaming for the nth time as she sensed her body woke just to go back to unconsciousness when breathing seemed like hard labor. But when she was finally able to gather her thoughts and urge her body to move, she could only move a finger or two. While deep in slumber, she goes back to _that_ place where it all started. 

“L-Levi,” the first thing she mumbled when she was finally able to keep her mouth and tongue moving, voice cracking from her parched throat. 

Her tears were still there at the mention of the name. Someone softly held her left hand to their cheek, responding to her soft call. Believing that she might still be in a dream, she let her hand move to feel the person’s cheek, tracing the familiar cheekbone, brow, and socket of his eye. She smiled because some things never change, or at least in her fantasy, it never does. “Were you crying?”

“No, I wasn’t.” the man lied, gaining a chuckle from her.

“This dream’s too realistic.”

“Oi, _Four Eyes_ , at least open your damn eyes if you’re awake. Your hospital bill’s fucking expensive.”

Hange was forced to open her eyes after hearing that. Her tired, heavy eyelids fluttered as bright light invaded her vision until she saw the white interior of the room she was in. Blinking further, she saw the man she recently talked with on her first day as a volunteer guide in their institution’s museum.

_No, this must be an extension of a dream._

He was beside her bed, still holding her left hand with his. He was staring at her, patiently waiting to let the situation sink in. She looked around the place one more time onto the man. _I’m alive?_ He squeezed her hand. It was soft, warm and it confirmed that she’s _absolutely alive_. 

_How? What happened? Why is he here? How many hours was I out?_

There were too many questions flooding her head. “What time is it?” She asked instead, pulling her hand from him, her head throbbing that she can’t have a full grasp of the events that have led her to stay alive and be in a hospital room with this man. 

“9 AM.” He sighed, leaving her for a while to get a glass of water.

_I could still go to the laboratory before heading to the museum._

When she’s about to reach for the water, the man went to her side and helped her have a sip. She was too weak to decline his help. He even put her eyeglasses on for her. She could only watch him as he naturally navigated around the room to place the glass back to the table, fix the inclination of her bed so that she could be in a sitting position, and as he sat beside her again, only then she noticed that the man if he was the one who brought her to the hospital, wasn’t wearing the same article of clothing he was wearing in the museum. 

“You were in and out of it for three days,” he added.

Her brown orbs got wide from shock. She couldn’t believe she fought hard for three freaking days. Her tiredness was slowly dissipating and was replaced by an alarm when she remembered her volunteering work, the laboratory she left her secretary to take care of, the pile of paperwork she’s about to face, and the wrath of their president. In panic from having these thoughts, she said, “Levi, did the laboratory contact me?”

His eyes glinted. “Ah. Told me to contact them once you’re out of here.”

She was already in her headspace, listing down all the work she had missed, who she would contact first, and how she would kindly ask the man to leave her alone. “I need to get out of here,” her anxious mind spat loudly.

“Only if the doctors allow you to go.” 

She glanced at him and saw that he was still watching her. “Sir, I’m thankful that you saved my life. But I think I know my body better. I’m going out of this place now,” her forehead scrunched. She’s getting more conscious having her mind clear caused by worry compared to earlier when she thought that she was inside a dream. This man is the last person she wants to be with alone. _He looks like a walking danger._

“Why are you calling me Sir?” 

“What do you mean? Can you call the doctor for me? I’ll talk to them. I’ll pay my bills if that’s what you’re concerned about.”

“You called me Levi earlier.”

Hange gaped at him. “Well, I might have assumed a name. I’m sorry for that.” 

He stood up from his chair, and she was relieved that he’s cooperating until he said, “If you’re still nauseous then you should rest more.”

“What? No, no, no, no, I’m fine. I’m not sick anymore.” 

Hange can’t believe this. She just got out of a shitty situation to have another one the moment she woke. She doesn’t know how to reply to him if they keep their conversation longer. Her patience was wearing thin. Yes, she was still tired from recovering but she had it worse before and she knows that she can handle it. “Look, mister, I’m thankful for the visit but I don’t think you’re supposed to dictate how I live my life.”

He glared at her. “Yeah? And why do you get to decide how I should live mine? How is that fair?”

“I don’t know what you mean. Why are you being such an asshole since we met?” She fisted the blanket covering her for support and to control her anger as she felt her head spinning.

The man scowled, putting both hands on his waist, a brow raised in suspicion. “When was that?”

“In the museum. Call the doctors now.”

“No. Rest. Your office was already informed of your absence for the meantime.” 

“I can move now.”

“You can’t.”

Flailing her arms to prove she can indeed move, she shouted, “I can! Dammit, I can… Ugh! Can’t you just leave me alone? I don’t need you here.”

Rage. She saw rage masked all the emotions he was showing in his blue-gray spheres earlier. Hange got scared when he moved towards her, his face getting nearer. A few inches away, he stopped and held her face, one arm closing in on her waist. Then there it was again, the tingling sensation forming in her gut despite a storm shown on his stoic face. 

“Sure. I’ll leave you alone but the moment I got out of this room, _think_ Four Eyes. That’s what you’re good at, right? Do you know that no one visited you for three days except your secretary? That was the only time someone made sure you’re not dead. I watched your pathetic ass in that museum, in the ambulance, and for two nights here. You were in the *ICU for a whole fucking day. No one was there to tell those damn doctors to keep pushing on. And you fucking signed a *DNR like you know this could happen anytime. I did- I had to fucking convince that dipshit to do otherwise. Think-”

Hange blinked, feeling her tears building up from her ducts. “Of what? What are you doing here in the first place? Who told you to save me? Why are you… so _mad_?”

“I have questions you can only answer,” he said firmly, his thumb brushing a tear that has already escaped from her eye.

Gulping, she pouted to prevent her shaky breath from coming out. She shut her eyelids closed, not allowing him to see her in such a sorry state as tears flowed continuously from her eyes. “Sir, I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else.”

“Look at me without shaking on your feet, Hange. I could tell you’re lying. You know me.”

Gathering up all the strength she could muster, she leveled him. “No. I don’t.”

He closed his eyes and took a sharp breath. “Levi Ackerman might ring a bell?”

She squinted at him. “No.”

“I go by Levi Ackerman Reiss now. But I’m still Levi.” He insisted.

“What should I do with that information?”

“You’ve played enough games with my life, Hange. Haven’t you had enough fun by now?” 

Hange assessed the situation, and could only conclude that this man, Levi or whatever he’s called, is crazy. However, she’s crazier for letting him affect her. Levi was the first one to withdraw himself this time, glancing away from her too fast that she must have imagined his misty eyes. She waited for him to talk more but he suddenly left the room. 

Allowing herself to breathe, she tried to distract herself from thinking about Levi, the grumpy man she was with. But to no avail, she was obliging his request or rather command of _thinking_ about what happened to her. 

Her thoughts didn’t last long though, for she wasn’t left alone as doctors and nurses came in not even five minutes after he was out.

_What have I done?_

* * *

  
  


_Year 854_

_I played a game to save my world._

_An atonement, punishment, and sacrifice all in one._

_The universe was nothing but fair._

  
  


The sky was never painted by bright blue and white clouds. There was no light for days since she started wandering around the place. The land was similar to the one they saw when Eren summoned all the Eldians, which must be the Paths. All there was is endless sand and unreachable horizons. Yet she never saw anyone in her journey. At first, she was finding Erwin and the rest of her comrades. Having only talked to them for a good few minutes until she was summoned to another setting alone. However, it felt like days and no one showed up despite her desperate attempt of crying, shouting, and running in the space.

Plummeting back first on a heap of sand she created to calm her short-circuiting mind, she laughed hysterically at her situation. “What the fuck is this place?!” She thought out loud, the void welcoming her shrieking voice in return. “Hahaha! I know this would happen.” She chuckled and finally let herself give up on searching for her comrades. _This is my end, huh. I wonder if Levi and the brats managed to end it somehow._

Hange spread her limbs, making herself flatter on the sand. She stared at the racing clouds on the same unlighted sky. Her mind tired from the days she spent thinking of ways to get out of the area or maybe it was also the years of trying to shoulder a big portion of the burden of humanity on her own. 

She wanted to play it cool, aware that she’s unaware of the consequences she would be put through in this place. _This is not the Paths even though it looks like it,_ Hange concluded after seeking for traces of the titan shifters or Ymir who was said that could reside in the place. So she also inferred that her talk with Miche and the others was just an illusion her dying consciousness created until she was brought to her rightful place.

She wondered what hell could it have been. Was it supposed to be this quiet? Is her punishment being alone for eternity? This is more pleasant than she expected. She remembered Onyakopon telling her about their faith. He said there was a Creator who willed and created the world and its inhabitants, and when humans die, there is a heaven waiting for those who lived a righteous life, and a hell for those who brought suffering to others. Hearing these, Hange thought that if what Onyakopon said was true, then she would definitely go to hell, what with how she brought her friends to death’s doors the moment she became a squad leader. But according to him, hell was supposed to be a place where one suffers the same excruciating pain they inflicted on other living beings on earth.

_This, this is not painful enough,_ she pondered. Reaching a hand to the sky, she urged her mind not to wander anymore. Not thinking about the future nor the past because it’s no longer relevant in her state, she accepted that she could do nothing anymore but bear whatever will come in the enigmatic world she got in. 

_See you later, Hange._ A low and mellow voice echoed in the area and she sat up immediately upon recognizing it.

“Levi? Are you here?” She stood up, looking around to see him, only to find the same cold wide area.

_I’m not certain…_ The voice came back after a while, reverberating. 

“Levi? Hey, Clean Freak! Can you hear me? What happened?” She shouted.

_But that’s what Hange predicted._

_I’ll stop Zeke. Just… lend me your strength._

Hange stilled on her spot, realizing that he wasn’t with her. _He’s still fighting with the Alliance._ Sitting down, she brought her knees to her chest, waiting for Levi’s voice to occupy the void once more. She counted up to ten minutes yet it never came again. Her curiosity was building inside her, thoughts going to Levi and his course of plan and action. She knew he would go for Zeke, but she hoped Armin would be able to negotiate with Eren for the last time. But if that’s not the case then they would have to end him too. _That stupid brat, making it difficult for all of us._

Her mind wandered to Eren, their once sweet boy who would do everything they ask him to. He was a young man who had dreams like theirs. He used to admire Levi and the Survey Corps and they kind of took vantage of that, thinking he would stay the same forever. _Kids grow up differently._ Hange felt accountable for pushing Eren too much for the sake of humanity. She blamed herself for neglecting the signs that Eren must have been suffering as the bearer of both the Founding and Attack Titan. If only she knew better, maybe they could’ve prevented the rumbling from trampling everyone on its way. Maybe Eren would be easier to sway by his friends and there would be lesser casualties in this war for the right to continue one's race to live.

Unconsciously, she also started reminiscing all the hypotheses and plans she told Levi. She listed down all the possible options he could choose from according to different scenarios they talked about and thought of together in Paradis up to the most recent ones on their way to the island. Hange thought of the titan shifters and how they could also be controlled by the Founding Titan. She predicted that Eren, Zeke, Ymir, or whoever was able to use its powers could and would activate it to protect the source of the rumbling the moment Levi and the Alliance came their way. _Levi has to be successful in killing Zeke._ If her idea is correct, they could at least stop the rumbling and save the rest that could be destroyed before Ymir starts to pass the titan to another helpless person of Eldian blood. _Then they should stop Eren, by hook or by crook, whatever the situation calls for, Armin would know what to do._

She also worried about the children, Falco and Gabi, along with Annie and the rest who escaped by ship. But she’s most anxious for Connie and Jean who aren’t titan shifters or an Ackerman like her. Then, Mikasa, Hange believed that her Ackerman blood is not a factor why she’s so fixated with Eren. _I understand now. It was love._ She prayed silently that Mikasa could let go of Eren the way Levi…

_Oh no, it was not like that,_ she brushed the thought off.

However, memories from that forest came flooding into her mind. A burst of adrenaline still pumped in her cells like the first time she saw Levi so battered, weak, and almost lifeless. She can still feel her nerves shivering from the cold river water and fear of getting caught, her muscles aching as she forced herself to carry Levi and swim the length of the river as far as she can. She can’t help but remember how she took every opportunity to prolong his journey as he kept on fighting for his dear life. She looks back to her soliloquy, how embarrassing that she needed Levi to remind her of her virtues, that she thought of running away and giving up her promised duty as the commander of the wings of freedom.

_I know you... You won’t be able to stay out of the action._

“Ah. _This_ is my kind of hell,” she chuckled bitterly.

Mimicking the blank space of the whole area on her face, Hange stood up to continue her walk. Now with no goal or destination but to wander the way she desired to fight and know more. Levi’s voice didn’t return nor other voices could be heard but her own. She wished she could at least hear them, even though it would hurt that she won’t be able to help yet it was still something she selfishly wanted; to at least hear their voices to accompany her in that lonely place. 

She walked, she would run to change pace, and sometimes she would even exercise on her trip to nowhere. Now and then she would sit on the sand and create figures out of it to entertain herself. Strangely, aside from not being hungry nor feeling physical pain, she could still think, remember, and be emotional. Hange won’t even dare count the passing time because a minute feels like an eternity. Her mind kept on going back to the war she left earlier, even though she tried to distract herself.

One moment, after creating the Paradis’ map on the sand, she glanced around to find her numerous works lying around her. “Clean that up, Four Eyes,” she said, copying the known scowl in the process. She laughed at her joke. Sighing, she went to the sand formed as a house. “We should’ve bought that house, you know. It was small but it’s in Sina. What else could you wish for?” 

Turning to the sand teacup, she continued, “Well, you got my savings with yours. You could buy that house or open a business after you end the war.” Smiling, “You’d make a good businessman. You even had old Reeves trust you. Though, you should smile more, to attract customers. But… you make really fine tea, so I guess it would be fine.”

“Or maybe, you’d rather live in the forest?” She laughed more loudly. “I think not. You won’t love mosquitos flying around your cabin or soil on your foyer.” 

_Human._

“You should open up to Armin and the others more. You’d die choking from your saliva if you won’t talk with them. That would be too shameful. Humanity’s strongest dying because of his spit.”

_Hey, human._

“Levi, honestly I, I want to be with you longer. But shit happens all the time, right? It’s not like we had a better choice.”

_STUPID HUMAN!_

“AH!” Hange landed on her butt, arms supporting her, she focused her attention to listen.

“Hello? Can you hear me? Show yourself?” She said.

_You can't see me. You're mortal._

The voice was deep and grumbling. Standing up, she brushed off some sand on her clothes. _Whose voice is that?_ “And what are you?”

_Hmm. Who knows... But I've been watching you crying and running for too goddamn long._

“Then can you tell what’s this place? Why am I here? Where are my comrades?”

_Ohoho... You're not even scared of who you may be talking with. Are you stupid or completely insane?_

Hange rolled her eyes, having experienced worst to worst situations, nothing could surprise her anymore. “Then if you aren't gonna answer any of my questions. You’re welcome to leave me alone,” she replied sarcastically. Hange started walking away from the place, thinking the voice would be gone if she did.

_Running is futile._

She ignored the condescending voice. Hange continued marching on the sand. 

_There's no forward, backward, any concept of time nor ideals here._

Stopping in her tracks, she decided to talk with it. “Moving forward is my forte,” she grinned. “Hey ugly voice, is it just the two of us here? You seem… lonely.”

_Lonely? That sounds familiar. Ah. That's the same reason why that child is in here too. That stupid human sold her life so she won't feel... lonely. What a dumb wish but I had my fun with her._

Frowning, “What do you mean? Who is she? Will you tell me why I’m here?”

_The child's name is Ymir. Yes, you must know her. The same cursed blood is running in your veins, even in your spirit. I'm telling you, human, even I do not know why you are here. But I have an inkling..._

“What?”

_That child will soon wake up and fight my curse. I can feel it. She's been bringing her children to this land._

Realization dawning in her, she connected two and two. _This is why I can hear Levi, I’m in the Paths,_ she thought.

“What are you? Why do you know Ymir would have her curse removed?”

_I created Ymir’s curse. What happened to her was planned by me. I created this world for her._

“Stop saying bullshit. If that’s true then you should be stopped. What am I here for?”

The voice mockingly laughed at her. _Weren’t you wishing desperately before you left your physical body? What was it? Peaceful life in the forest? No. I can’t be stopped even if you try. There is no undoing, this is the law of the universe, and just like what happened to you, that child Ymir also desperately wished for a change... so I did something that would make this universe much more interesting._

Seething with anger from what she just heard, she fisted her hands and coldly spoke. “You, you fucking devil. Are you having fun? Does our suffering bring you joy? 2000 years worth of your fucking doing! You played with a child’s lonely heart!”

_I told you. This is the natural order of the universe._

“You also said you made it more interesting.”

_Ah. That’s right. But isn't fighting for something make one alive? You prayed, child._

“No. I did not. Send me back to my comrades, wherever that is in here.”

_I can’t. That’s not how it works._

“You can’t use me in your fucking game. I won’t allow it.”

The voice groaned. _See, child. A curse is a curse. My purpose is chaos, pain, and suffering. You don’t have a say in that… That child Ymir and her children are forming their own story at the moment. I won’t be surprised if you’ll be summoned by her if she notices that she’s not alone in her realm. But she’s still occupied at the moment, look at this._

On the sky, the clouds cleared to project a bright light and moving images of the Alliance, or rather, she was seeing what was happening on the other side of the world. She saw Levi and the rest hanging on a huge bone, titan shifters in their form but she couldn’t recognize which are which as hundred of other titan shifters are also present in the scene. She watched silently, heart pounding from worry and guilt.

“Reiner… Jean! Shit! Connie, wake up! Wake up!”

“Levi, no!” She ran under the cloud, seeing him flinch from the pain of having his leg in the titan’s mouth. “Someone please save him!” She commanded like she could be heard. Her breathing hitch when she saw Mikasa go for the titan and Connie waking up right on time to catch their heavily injured captain.

“Stop this! Stop! Please break Ymir’s curse. Free her now.”

She looked up to see Mikasa shouting, a pair of wings coming for her until the sky turned back to its usual darkness. “No!” Her eyes were wide in freight with what she saw. She didn’t think that things could be worse for them. She wanted to go out and join them. She wanted to scream. But nothing came out but her shocked self, not capable of thinking as her brain works to connect everything. 

_Ymir is almost done. We could do nothing about it. YOU could do nothing to prevent that._

Hange gaped because as much as she wanted to contrast the voice, they were right. Gathering herself for the nth time since she came there, she continued her endless stroll in the now confirmed abyss. What more could she do if they’re fighting with an order created by beings superior to them? She dragged her feet, feeling hopeless with every step. 

_Tell me, child. What do you desire the most?_ The voice nudged. 

“Leave me alone.”

_Do you wanna be Ymir’s plaything and be a titan shifter? I can do it. I can make you the next Founding Titan… or Beast Titan? Your choice._

“You won’t get anything from me.” She clenched her teeth, _if I want to help them, this is the best I can do. I won’t be a devil’s pawn._

_Despite the character, I’m a good guy, really. It’s just that I do my job seriously. I was called to bring sorrow, and now I’m the bad guy._

“Stop. Stop! Stop!”

_How many times do I have to tell you, I can’t be stopped. I’m here-_

Covering her hands on her ears, she weakly pleaded. “Please, fucking stop. I don’t want to hear one word from you anymore. It makes me sick.”

_No. Listen, child. You’re next to Ymir. The heavens sent you here. We can’t undo shit. Just cooperate, will ‘ya?_

“I’ll suffer alone. So shut up.”

_Okay. Suffer from me then._

“Fine.”

She began contemplating the scenario she had a glimpse of earlier. They were all in bad shape, most especially, Levi who was already injured from the thunderspear explosion. She was right, titans were summoned to fight the Alliance. Still, hundreds of titans compared to their small number consisting of men and few titan shifters... She shuddered as she remembered the colossal titans she fought on her own. Out of habit, she weighed the options they could've had. Realizing that she didn’t see Armin in the group, despair bubbled in her gut. _Is this the end? But they’re still fighting. They can do it. I know they will,_ Hange was convincing herself to keep her sanity intact.

_If you wanna go back so bad why don’t you wanna be a titan shifter?_

_It’s easy as pie with the already cursed blood running in you. You’ll make a fine holder!_

_That man you were talking about most of your stay here. You want to save him, do you?_

“I’ll save them all if I can.”

_Ha! Look who’s talking. Didn’t you escape death with that dying man?_

“He was still breathing so I saved him.”

_You killed your men for him._

The voice suddenly guffawed, finding humor in it. _That’s it, that’s your selfish desire, wasn’t it? Child, you almost gave up your so-called duty to run with that man. You want to be with him… in that forest?_

“I’m guilty of killing my comrades but the thought of running away was a mistake I corrected already. I’m here, right?”

_Yet your thoughts are with them,_ the voice pointed out.

Hange couldn’t reply. The voice was correct once more but she won’t admit that. She focused on zoning away from the voice, thinking that this would be her hell moving forward. 

_Okay. I’m taking it back, you seem smarter than that child Ymir. But you’re stuck with me until you decide what’s gonna happen next. And oh… don’t wait ‘til Ymir woke up or else I’d be forced to transfer curses. World’s gonna be more shitty than you could imagine. That’s good for me though, lots of suffering means… I’m not sure what, but can you imagine? Maybe I could play god! All thanks to you, Hange Zoe._

“I still don’t believe you.”

A gust of strong wind came, carrying sand along with it which made her stumble on her feet. She changed her stance, bending a little while covering her eyes with her arms. She tried peeking and saw a form of a man in the middle of the dust whirls in front of her. “Four Eyes, what is this? What the fuck is this place? Ugh! AAAAAAA! I trusted you, Hange… Why did you leave….” 

The dust devil ended, bringing with it the fearful screams of Levi.

“What’s your point?” She screamed, not letting herself be caught in the devil’s game.

_You could save the man._

“I want everyone saved.”

_Hmm… we can compromise._

“What do you mean?”

_Eugh. Child, you’re testing me when I’m supposed to be testing you. I’ve been repeating the same shit. I came for chaos, pain, and suffering._

“Yeah. And I also said I’d like to spend the rest of eternity suffering alone here.”

_You can’t stay here. This is Ymir’s. You need to create your wish, your desire over anything else._

“Like what?”

_Turn into a titan now, save Levi and kill the rest of humanity, if I may suggest?_

“Then please fuck off.”

_Hmm… What if you'd be reborn as a billionaire running a business with workers paid below minimum wage? You can rule as a queen colonizing countries in your next life. Or… you can create a cure for a disease that would also be a cause of another disease later on. Still, a no? Then how about…_

The devil went on rambling ideas about how she could be of use as his new puppet to “preserve” the natural order of the world. Despite shrugging off the following suggestions they said, Hange was already formulating the next words that will come out from her mouth. Getting caught in this situation, she dwells on the fact that Ymir’s story would soon end and that she must make haste in coming up with a wish she could control and would still benefit the rest of the world. Although, it’s beyond her knowing what matters most, whether it's peace, health, or justice. She believes that no human must suffer the same fate as the Eldians have experienced. She must work around that to decide on how she could be both a tool for the devil and humanity. 

Pick the option you’d regret the least, no one will know the result until it’s done anyway, as Levi would always say. So she followed that while reflecting on her said desires for the past years. However, she could only remember herself obsessing over titans, exploring new places, creating tools and equipment they could use for their expeditions; her love and interest in learning about different flora and fauna. Those were all personal desires her naive and idealistic self once had. But those are lawful fixations, which means the devil might not find it entertaining enough compared to their recommendations.

Then she contemplated on meeting her friends, Erwin, Moblit, Miche, Nanaba, and her squad members, Nifa, Moblit, Keiji, and also the rest who had joined her in countless experiments and had protected her during missions. She thought of saving Sasha and the rest of the children the Survey Corps has not given the opportunity to enjoy a better future. _But there has to be pain and suffering,_ she worried about that part. Can she sacrifice the rest of humanity so she could redeem her damned race? Or would she waste this opportunity to revive and save her comrades for the people who willed them to be eradicated? 

“I want to save both,” she mumbled. _And Levi_. She remembered how she persuaded herself, a life with him somewhere after she made the plan for creating the Alliance. 

“ _Rest. We have a lot of things to do,” she said while looking at his stitched-up face. “Is it your dream I didn’t know about? Do you… want to live inside a jungle?” He said carefully, eyes closed. Hange chuckled to brush off her shyness, “No. That was only a passing thought. Sleep. I’ll stay on guard.” Levi’s forehead frowned but he didn’t reply further._

She sat down to ponder.“He must be in deep pain, right now.”

_… or you do you wanna save Levi and make sure he’d have the best life-_

“Hey devil of Ymir or whatever, how many people do you require to suffer so that shitty law or order of the universe would be followed?”

_Finally! You’re getting it. Good question._

“And?”

_One immense pain would suffice._

This was the only thing Hange needed to confirm so she could continue the best plan she could make given her current knowledge and capability to decide. Breathing deeply, she cleared her mind and heart to focus on one desire she’d want to take place over the others. _I’m ready._

“Devil, let’s have a deal.”

  
  
  


* * *

“Dr. Zoe, welcome back! We missed you!” The small laboratory staff greeted her. 

Hange scanned the laboratory, silently commending her secretary for keeping the place organized the way she liked it while she was gone. She said her thank you’s to them and walked straight to her office afterward, not minding their curious stares. For a week, her work seems to be lighter than she expected. Three folders of reports on her desk when she was used to having five or more. Thinking that her secretary must have kept the rest with him, she went to his desk. 

“Isabel,” she called the intern photocopying papers near her. “Is Raj not here yet?” 

“He texted me saying he would be late,” the young lady tensely replied.

“Ah. Do you know where he kept the other folders I wasn’t able to read last week?”

“No, Ma’am, Doc. Uhm. He placed all the reports on your desk himself, maybe some were sent in your email. I’m not sure, Doc. Sorry, I’d text him that you’re here already.”

Hange smiled to ease her. “It’s alright. Have a nice day!” 

Returning to her desk, she heard her phone ringing from her office backpack. Seeing their president’s name, she prepared herself for whatever she was about to say. “Madam Azumabito, how may I help you?”

“Hange, dear! What a delight to hear your voice again! How are you?” 

Hange checked the caller ID if she was hearing the same old strict and snobbish woman. And it was, seeing President Azumabito’s name on the screen, she pressed the loudspeaker icon so she could multitask. _Knowing her, we’d take an hour before this ends._

“I’m sorry for being absent for a week. But I’m strong as a bull now, I could volunteer again if you allow me to. I could work in the laboratory and the museum… if you’d like.” she forced herself to sound gleeful, hiding her anxiety that this might be her last day at work. 

The old lady laughed, “Oh no, no need dear. You don’t have to volunteer in the museum anymore. We already hired additional people.”

_Shit. Am I getting fired?_

“I did receive a request for you…”

Finishing skimming the pages in the first folder she opened, she waited anxiously for her to continue. On the other end, she heard the lady drink, probably her usual morning tea, before adding, “It was from a printing company.”

Sighing inaudibly, “Oh that! I remember them. An interview, was it?”

“No, not quite. Hange, dear, you shouldn’t keep this kind of secret like this to your boss.”

If she was keeping a secret, it wasn’t something her boss would know _or believe._ Still, her brain was ready to form reasons she could answer. Chuckling, she asked, “Ma’am, I’m not hiding anything from you.”

“Ahaha! No need to fret, dear. Your secret’s not that a big deal for me, but it was a big help to our organization.”

“What help, Ma’am?”

“Your fiancé donated a hundred thousand bucks and his company is requesting you to write for a month in a section in their magazine. What a lovely couple you are. Didn’t he tell you about this? _Oh_ , did I ruin a surprise?”

Hange was utterly confused by what’s happening for she had no one but herself since time immemorial. “I’m sorry, Ma’am. I don’t seem to get what you’re trying to say.”

“Dear, is it a sin to love? There’s nothing to be shy about marrying the hottest bachelor in town.”

“And who’s that?”

“Poor child, the hospital might have drained your usual genius! Do I have to spell Levi Ackerman Reiss so you’d remember your husband-to-be? Anyway, call them after this so you could confirm or decline their offer. I’m giving my blessing. Say yes.”

“Uhm. Okay, Madam. Thank you very much for informing me.”

“Okay! Buh-bye!”

The call ended but her unusual jolly voice remained ringing in Hange’s ears. 

_Nice. It’s not like I’d allow him to meet me anyway. I have time to process this all._

“Professor! I’m sorry for being late. Mr. Rei- ahm, Mr. Levi scheduled a dinner with you tonight. Madam Azumabito made him a priority in the organization. I’d give you his number. Nice to see you back, by the way.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you reach here, thank you very much for taking interest in my work! I initially wrote this when Chapter 134 was released, but only finished it after Chapter 136 was out. Theeen, I couldn't post it anywhere because *anxiety* haha. Anyway, I don't know if it makes sense but it makes sense for me lol. So if you may, please let me know your thoughts, random reader, fellow levihan stans.
> 
> If you have any levihan modern headcanons or scenarios y'all wanna read in the next chapters. Please help me and leave an ask or chat me on Tumblr: argethara.
> 
> Again, thank you and lezzz move forward.


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